Step Family(!) Dynamics in the Nativity

The holiday season makes me nostalgic and reflective. I always have a plethora of “random stuff” running through my mind during this busy time of year. As we were decorating for Christmas, I thought about the dynamics at the nativity. I'm not referring to the "royal" wise men with gifts of gold and myrhh crowding in with the "smelly" shepherds and their flocks.

Have you ever considered that Joseph and Mary were “technically” step parents? Just think about what that might have been like ... the step parents of the Son of God! The mind reels at the internal struggles! I’m going out on a limb in saying that these parents may not have experienced the stereotypical “step child angst” or the disrespect that we all “loved or are loving” our way through. While it was not a typical step parent/step child relationship, it could not have been easy for any of them … an earthly mother and father and THE Son ... of GOD!

The relationship between them was likely much different than the “raw human-ness” of modern-day step relationships. What did this complicated relationship look like? Did Jesus call Mary and Joseph “Mom and Dad” or “Mother and Father”? We know Jesus called Mary his mother in scripture, but was that ever an issue for them as a family? The thought of the "teenage Jesus" playing the “you’re not my real father/mother card” makes my heart hurt and laugh at the same time. It was profoundly true, no matter how you look at it.

Just like our step families, this “holy” step family was born out of brokenness … the brokenness of the entire world. If you think Satan is busy working on your family, consider how determined he must have been to tear apart this family ... one "set apart" by God.

Any difficulty that Mary and Joseph may have had with their son, THE Son, had nothing to do with them. Called by God, whatever happened, they loved anyway. While we can speculate about the dynamic of these relationships, it comes down to this truth. God the Father entrusted his most precious gift to earthly “step parents.” He knew Mary and Joseph would raise His son according to His will. Mary and Joseph were selected by God for a very specific eternal purpose … as are you.

The holidays can be a difficult time for step families. As with everthing else in a step family dynamic ... it’s complicated. Whatever happens has nothing to do with you. It's the influence of the world and those around you. Love anyway.

My Christmas gift to you is my time-tested holiday survival tool and key to sanity. You just have to show up. It has taken me years to realize this simple truth. You do not have to over-extend yourself or try to make everyone happy. Breathe in, breathe out and just show up for this brief moment in time. Keep your focus on your Creator, not your critics. Give it all to God and … most importantly, do not give the enemy a seat at your table.

Remember to take time out for yourself, even if it's only 15 minutes to read one verse of scripture. Pray for a peaceful, joyful heart in the midst of this wonderfully messy holiday season. Merry Christmas and much love from a fellow step mom who is just showing up and trying to love anyway.

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"And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end. Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God." Luke 1:30-35