The Invisible, Invincible Step Mom

My husband and I did not have a honeymoon. Other than the day of our wedding, we have never had professional photos taken of the two of us. If you look through snapshots of the past 10 years, you won't find me in many of those. I was busy capturing family moments behind the camera. Truthfully, this is my “preferred“ location. Looking back, I regret feeling that way about myself.

When we married, we had family in town, kids to care for and a host of other responsibilities. We "hit the ground running" in our marriage and live in fast forward. We haven't stopped in 10 years. I was so busy capturing moments for my husband and children with the camera, that I put myself last. Let me reiterate ... I put myself last ... by choice. It was easier, it caused less tension.

My husband would tell you that when we are out and about, I always volunteer to take a family photo for a woman who is behind the camera. The rest of “her people” stand smiling, waiting impatiently to have their photo taken ... one person is missing. That sacrificial, invisible woman is my "spirit animal."

I write this to implore you to stop putting everyone and everything before your marriage. Go on trips, spend time together ... just the two of you. Take time to celebrate who you are as a couple and all that makes you "perfect" for each other. It is not selfish, it's tending to and caring for your marriage.

Celebrate the important moments and capture them with the two of you in front of the camera. Buy a selfie stick, use the timer or a remote shutter release ... don’t look back with regret of photos without you ... revel in those moments you can’t get back. While photos with the family may be a moment of tension and discomfort, it produces a lifetime of memories ... with the entire family in the photo.

Ten years after our marriage, we are taking that honeymoon. We have professional photos scheduled to be taken at the end of the month. We are taking the time to celebrate us and capture precious moments together. These are the moments made for worshiping.

Above all, love each other deeply. Peter 4:8